Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
