that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
