just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
