i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize