I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
