So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
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Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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