I got chris browned last night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
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He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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