Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
