using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
