we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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