ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
