i think i have herpe
just one?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
