I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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