Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the liver wants what the liver wants
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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