did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
That reminds me...we need to get swords
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
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I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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