Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
