just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
