Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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