Can Purell be used as lube?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I didn't notice because vodka
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
