her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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