I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well I just put wine in my tea
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
