dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
