please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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