it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
