Pappa wants mamma naked
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
This is my gift to your gina
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
