I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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