You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
