I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
