I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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