So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
