can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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