She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
