i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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