she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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