nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
