Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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