in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
