someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
