Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
