the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
