take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
