there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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