i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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