piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
