What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
