Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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