Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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