Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
