So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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