Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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