I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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