Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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