go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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