oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
