can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
