o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I sprained my soul last night
I think a kid would responsible me up
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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