we have officially lost it.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize