shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
