well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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