One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
