Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
